The Midwife

I have had a few people ask about my experience with our homebirth and the midwife so I figured I’d share a little.

I read all sorts of books on homebirth, stories etc. the great majority of the stories the mother talked about how it was such an uplifting spiritual time. After the birth they felt totally changed and angels were singing, blah, blah, blah. I’m not a very “lovey-dovey” person so this is not how I would describe the experience.

Everything went very well. My labor started in the early morning. Not wanting to call our midwife, Paulette Efimenko, with a false alarm I waited a few hours. I did call her at about 8 am to give her notice. She lived a few hours drive from our house so I figured I’d best call once I knew it was the real deal. Luckily she was only an hour and a half away. I had planned to do some laundry and some weeding in the garden while I waited for things to progress. Apparently first babies can be a slow labor from what I read… after an hour I couldn’t walk through the contractions. After talking with Paulette again, she was going to be one her way shortly. I called my husband home from work about 10ish. His mom came over for support, just incase the baby came before Paulette made it. By noon Paulette was there and by 2 the baby was born.

I can’t say it wasn’t life changing. We now have the cutest little boy who’s all smiles and laughter. But the birth itself was just that. Women have been giving birth for millions of years. Yes, it is a miracle, a God given gift. But let’s face it, by the time it was done I counted his fingers and toes, made sure he was whole and then I just wanted a cold shower, a nap and a cheeseburger (which my in-laws delivered, I so very much appreciated that!).

I can’t imagine having to get in the car and head to the hospital during any part of that production and am thankful I didn’t have to. My family was quite concerned about our decision to have a home birth; what if something goes wrong? the hospital has all sorts of special equipment, you’re so small framed,  etc.. I really wasn’t worried about it for a few reasons.
– Women have been giving birth without doctors and hospitals since the beginning of time… literally.  It wasn’t until very recently did birth move from the home to the hospital.
– The U.S. has a much higher C-section rate and is known for other unnecessary procedures during labor and delivery. As well as putting labor on a time schedule, both making an appointment for a “just in case” induction and how long they will wait before a C-section.
Medical staff are trained to react not wait patiently for nature to take its course. Sometimes this is good, sometimes it does more harm than good even with the best intentions. (Sometimes it’s lack of patience too. A friend of mine had a doctor announce he was going to use suction to remove the baby because he wasn’t going to miss his tee time. I’m pretty sure I would have leapt off the table and punched him!)
– Of course there’s the drugs too. I know you can refuse but I just didn’t want to deal with it at all. I always believed pain is fear and is more mental that anything. I went into this at peace and relaxed and it really wasn’t that bad.
-Most of all, I was at peace with it. I knew that if God wanted us to have this baby we would. If we were meant to suffer a loss, no medical team in the world could change God’s plan. If we needed medical assistance God would get us where we needed to be when we needed to be there.

As with everything in life, trust in God’s plan and everything will fall into place just as it should.

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6 Comments

  1. Hello, how recent was your homebirth? I am due in November and having a very hard time finding a midwife. I live in bismarck. Do you have any information on Paulette?

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