That’s what the newspaper would title it. The whole thing would go something like this:
Local Farmer Knocked Out By Cow Pie
At approximately 5:30 am Mr. Lauer found his wife unconscious in the cow pen. “I usually stop out to say goodbye in the morning. I went out early because she forgot her coffee on the counter that morning. She usually has a cup with Caroline, her cow.” said Mr. Lauer. He found Mrs. Lauer laying next to her pitch fork and Caroline her cow was standing next to her looking very concerned. After assessing the situation, Mr. Lauer could see that his wife had finished feeding the cows and started cleaning the barn. The weather has been seasonably cold and the cow pies have froze. Judging by the size of the crater at Mrs. Lauer’s feet and the size of the pie next to her head it was safe to assume that she pried the frozen pie from the ground, which sent it airborne hitting her in the head and knocked her unconscious.
When Mrs. Lauer “came to” Mr. Lauer made sure she was okay by saying “I see you’re only half done out here. Do you plan to finish?” When she replied “Yes, I s’pose.” He knew all was fine and left for work.
So far this hasn’t happened. There were a few close calls this morning where I was once again reminded why it’s important to keep your mouth shut while cleaning the barn and always watch for flying… ahem… debris. I did forget my coffee this morning though. I don’t think Caroline was as concerned as I was about it as I was.