Spare Me the Change

Surprisingly, I am not a fan of change. I may change direction mid-stride and change my mind constantly but that’s different. That doesn’t alter my daily routine, it doesn’t mess with my tasks that need to be completed for the day. The change that causes me to start a whole new routine is not a welcome change, even if it’s something I am excited for. Confusing, I know.

Recently I had to go back to work (in town, work at home never ends). We were finally in a good routine after the little Miss was born, we have adjusted our schedule to her “up during the night” times and were back on track with getting the daily chores done. Then I had to go back to work…full time. This is a huge change and one that I am less than thrilled about. Don’t get me wrong, if I have to work in town I most certainly want to be were I am. The people are great, the company is great, the job is not as creative as I prefer but I still can’t complain. The only problem is that I am not at home with my children, which leads to a whole other post to come.

My “to do” lists would be miles long if I knew what I was to do in the first place. A change in routine this big of a change completely knocks me off my game. The weekends I accomplish next to nothing; in fact I don’t tend to remember what I did do. I know last weekend I worked on the never ending fence project. I’m getting there…very slowly. I moved and divided a bunch of flowers, just in time for snow! Yay! That’s about it. Laundry and rocking sick babies. A few of the important things but not comparable to what I was getting done before. The little bit of writing I have made time for is a bunch of unfinished, unpublished pieces.

I know it will take some time to get my act together but until that happens, this is a very frustrating feeling. I know I should be doing something…but what? The list I started last night is all work that needs to be completed outside and nothing that I want help with. (another problem I have.)

As mentioned previously, we are not planting our usual large vegetable garden this year. That in itself has had me lost since January. Now, mid-May aside from some flowerbed cleaning, I’m a little lost as to what to do next… Not there is ever a shortage to things to do. Even with a list I don’t know where to start for the time being.

It’s spring. A very, very, busy time of year and here I sit lost as to what I should be doing…

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